this is tearing us apart (it has to stop)
by smartybrains
Summary: Maya refuses to lose the best friendship she has ever had to some stupid love triangle, no matter how much she likes Huckleberry. She takes action / Lucaya oneshot


**this is tearing us apart (it has to stop)**

Riley is like a sister to her, the peanut butter to her jelly, the yang to her yin. Fighting with her is terrifying because there's always a little voice in the back of her head whispering, _"This is it. She's finally realized you aren't good enough. She's leaving you, she knows you aren't good enough."_ She really likes Lucas, but the risk of losing Riley, losing a friendship that has lasted for years, outweighs the butterflies in her stomach and the feeling of floating she gets when they're face to face.

This awful love triangle ( _is it even a triangle?)_ started to form the day they saw Lucas on the subway and nothing has been resolved. Riley and her are still as close as ever, still do everything together but when Maya ha-hurrs in Lucas's face in the hallway or when Lucas tells Riley a story about helping out on a ranch, the bay window always has a sense of tension lingering in the background.

It hurts because she never thought a boy would ever come between them. But Maya needs Riley and Riley so desperately wants a white knight in the form of Lucas and Maya doesn't need Lucas as much ( _I'll be happy if Riley is happy_ ) so she knows what she has to do. It'll hurt and maybe she'll feel like she's making a mistake, but it will all be worth it in the end when their group isn't a hot mess of hormones and confusion and it won't feel like looking into his eyes for longer than a few seconds is a crime.

* * *

The summer before freshman year Lucas goes back to Texas and only returns with a week before school starts. She is well aware that Riley skyped him at least twice every week and that Farkle texted him a lot as well. Maya's gotten a few texts as well, pictures of horses and cowboy boots and every Texas stereotype that led her to call him _Huckleberry_ in the first place, but her plan has been set in motion and so she replies with short meaningless responses. Eventually the stream of pictures slows to a trickle and it doesn't mean anything if her heart gives a small painful twinge when she notices.

(Step 1: Distancing- _complete_ )

Maya Hart isn't great at math but even she knows that if she takes herself out of the equation that is _RileyLucasMaya_ , all that is left is a simple solution.

* * *

Everyone's a little busy adjusting to high school. Farkle immediately tries to secure his spot as future valedictorian, Riley signs up for as many clubs as possible, and Lucas and Zay try out for football. They don't notice that Maya has barely been interacting with Lucas. She does the bare minimum- a wave in the hallways, attending the football games with Riley and Farkle, meaningless small talk when they're waiting for the other three at the lunch table- but she hasn't ha-hurred in his face or called him by a nickname in almost a month. The first time she called him by his name at Topanga's, everyone froze.

Riley leaned forward in his seat and, with the manner of someone about to poke a sleeping bear, asked, "Are you okay, Peaches?" Maya simply shrugged and replied, "We're in high school now, Honey. It's time to for me grow up a little." The others slowly exchanged glances before continuing to talk about the clubs they were interested in signing up for.

(Step 2: Removing signs of affection- _complete_ )

No one sees the small frown forming on Lucas's face.

* * *

Homecoming happens. They go as a group and the boys are handsome and the girls are beautiful.

She makes sure to always get punch or go to the bathroom during slow songs. Riley and Lucas dance together a few times. Maya stands by the punch table, watching.

Lucas strolls over to ask what she thinks of his shoes-cowboy boots hidden under slacks. She wants to cry, wants to ask for a dance, but gives a bland smile. "Interesting fashion choice."

His expectant smile falters and a painful silence fills the air until the others join them. ( _I'm doing the right thing_ )

* * *

Farkle confronts her about it first. "I know what you're trying to do," he calmly states. "Riley tried to do this too. Remember how that turned out?"

She places a mask of disinterest over her features before responding, "You're being too vague, Farkle. Riley and I do a lot of the same things."

His frown deepens and after looking around the deserted hallway, leans in close to whisper, " _You're trying to pretend like you're over Lucas."_

A prickle of irritation bubbles underneath Maya's skin and she has to resist the urge to burn his eyes out with a death-glare. That would give everything all away. Instead she tosses her hair back before staring right into his eyes. "This has nothing to do with pretending. I've moved on this summer. We barely talked at all and I realized how different we were. End of story."

Farkle walks away from the conversation feeling unsatisfied and Maya walks away with a hallow feeling in her chest.

She didn't lie to Farkle. She just conveniently didn't mention that she "moved on" to the first part of her plan that summer and that the new distance between her and Lucas was created on purpose.

Maya also doesn't mention how her heart still jumps when she sees him.

* * *

Being confronted by Farkle is a wake up call. Her friends aren't stupid and soon they might start to catch on to what's happening. Luckily she left John Quincy Adams Middle School with a glowing recommendation from Ms. Kossal and the high school art teacher is more than happy to let her occasionally hide out in the art room as long as she promises to enter a few art competitions.

It's nice to sit and let the stress and creativity be channeled out and onto a fresh canvas. The relief she gets is a welcome contrast to sitting in lunch and observing the same tentative dance Lucas and Riley have been doing since they met. The same doe-eyed stares at each other, the same sweet shy compliments, and the same refusal to commit to anything.

Sometimes Maya just wants to bash their heads together until they do something. Then everyone would be happy and she could stop feeling traitorous flashes of hope when Lucas tries to coax her into a making a snarky comment by mentioning something stereotypical from when he went back to Texas ( _he's still trying and it hurts and she just wants to give in and run away all at the same time_ ).

Maya doesn't notice that the dance has changed. It's different. Now the staring is shorter, less frequent. She doesn't see that Riley spends less time dreaming about a prince and more time planning school spirit events. She doesn't notice that Lucas's eyes have been following her around more and more often. She can't see the changes happening while she hides in the art room.

* * *

Eventually football season comes to a close and once playoffs are over, Lucas's schedule becomes less busy. Since Riley's numerous clubs (Student Council, Astronomy Club, Drama Club, Peer Leadership Group, School Choir, Animal Rights Club) keep her busy and Farkle lands the role of Pippin in the school's production and Zay is always…somewhere (he hung out with them on an infrequent basis and sort of just appeared sometimes), it's usually just Lucas and Maya hanging out at Topanga's.

Which doesn't exactly follow her plan. Which has not been making a lot of progress recently.

After the first week of sitting in the chairs and Lucas trying to talk to her while Maya uses her smoothie as an excuse to not respond ( _it reminds her too much of their failed, painful first date and how Lucas tried to interact with her like he would with Riley, like a substitute for the real thing_ ), she conveniently is busy afterschool working on a new painting.

He doesn't take the hint.

(Step 1: Distancing- _failed_ )

* * *

It's a beautiful painting, the sunrise over a lake of ice, surrounded by snow-covered trees.

She is hard at work when he walks through the doorway and her tunnel vision prevents Maya from noticing the presence gazing over her shoulder.

"It's beautiful." She jumps in surprise, whirling around and nearly falling off her stool.

A glare is given for the chuckle that slips out of his mouth and he gets a grumpy, "Thanks," in response before she turns back around to continue. Lucas is undeterred and remarks with the air of someone talking about the weather, "So what did I do wrong? No nicknames, no comments involving Texan stereotypes, nothing. Heck, I wore _cowboy boots_ to Homecoming and you said nothing! Not that I don't think that you've matured or anything, but this feels a little personal."

Maya steels herself to give a bland excuse about growing out of the teasing, but when blue meets blue, she just _can't_.

So instead she averts her eyes while words tumble out. "I'm sick of this. The thing between you, me, and Riley. I decided after graduating middle school that there was no way everyone could end up happy, not with the indecision and confusion and tension. I've known Riley for years and our friendship wasn't, _isn't_ , something I'm willing to lose. So I made a plan. I distance myself from you, take myself out of the equation, and you and Riley get to be happy together. However you numbskulls haven't gotten your act together even after almost 3 years." She's out of breath, chest heaving, after her confession. ( _You idiot, you only lasted 7 months. You couldn't even carry out your plan. Way to go, Maya)_

He says nothing but the weight of his gaze is heavy. She wants to say something, but months of planning and emotional confliction were just ruined so her eyes stay focused on the floor's tiled pattern.

He walks out a few minutes later without saying anything. She just wants to go home and hibernate in blankets for a few years. That sounds pretty reasonable considering what just happened.

 _(Plan: destroyed)_

* * *

Whenever their eyes meet over the course of the next few days, she is always relieved to see no anger or disgust in his eyes. Instead there is a strange mix of consideration and an emotion she can't place. Maya is always the one to break eye contact first, ducking her head down and continuing on with what she was doing earlier.

Lucas continues to watch her.

* * *

At the end of Friday's school day, Riley corners her by the lockers and states in a no nonsense tone, "Bay window tonight. If you don't show, I will physically drag you there, Peaches," before rushing off to speak with someone from the choir. No matter how many times it happens, Maya is never fully used to the feeling of being steamrolled that Riley can occasionally cause.

It is a nerve-wracking hours of procrastination and pacing before she can't put it off any longer and slips through the window with practiced ease.

Riley is already seated, hands patiently clasped in her lap. They stare each other for a few uncertain seconds before Riley leans forward, eyes wide and imploring her to listen. "Peaches, we tell each other everything right? Why would you not tell me about trying to move on from Lucas?"

All the pain and fear from months of the love triangle, from forcing her feelings down for her best friend's sake, come rushing back. Maya's voice is filled with emotion, pleading for Riley to understand, "I didn't want to hurt you or our friendship. It was tearing us apart, sitting together and knowing that one of us had a special moment with him. I saw a solution _and I took it_. It hurt but people are better off this way."

"Maya, no one asked you to do that. Your heart is in the right place, but there are other people involved too. What about what I want or what Lucas wants? What if I want _you_ to be happy? It's not like any of us like being in this situation!" Riley's voice is filled with frustration and Maya just feels drained.

"Well, it's not like anybody else is stepping up! What has Huckleberry's notecards done for us? In the end, it's up to him and it doesn't look like he's planning on choosing anytime!" She knows it's unfair, that Lucas doesn't want to tear the group apart. But deep down in Maya's heart, there is anger at the boy who drags his feet and hovers on the edge of making a decision.

( _Who is at fault though? A girl who dreams of a prince charming, a girl wants passion and love, or the boy who was unlucky enough to get stuck between the two?)_

They agree to have Lucas decide. They tell him after school on Monday, standing side by side and taking turns to explain what's been going on. He agrees, but there is pained understanding and dread in his eyes. Maya and Riley walk away together to go home.

Their friendship is strong enough to survive this, to survive a boy, to survive what comes after.

 _(Right?)_

* * *

A week later, the decision is made.

 _Maya_

* * *

 **So this is my first fanfic. I've considered writing one for the GMW community for a while now and I actually started this sometime in April. It took me a while since then because I was stuck on the Riley-Maya scene. Even now I don't really like it but I really wanted to publish this today. I'd love to hear feedback, constructive criticism, and any improper grammar or misspellings you see. If people are interested, I might write another chapter about reactions of Lucas choosing Maya. Just because this fic has Lucaya as endgame, that doesn't mean I hate on Riley or Rucas (so I'd appreciate if no one sends me hate about my choice of ship).**

 **Thanks for reading this and I'd love to hear your thoughts**

 **-smartybrains**


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